Why Isn't My Older Child Happy About Our New Baby?
Posted: Saturday, April 25, 2009
by David Cummings
Bustling Baby
Bringing a new baby home makes huge changes not only for the parents, but also for the other children in the home. Mom's attention is almost completely on the new baby, and the other children feel as though they have to scramble for some time with her. They do not always understand the changes that are occurring, particularly if they are young. As you prepare for your new arrival, keep these tips in mind for helping your other children adjust and accept their new brother or sister.
Let your child know as soon as you are comfortable doing so that a new sibling is on the way. When the due date approaches, let him know that you may have to pay a lot of attention to the new baby when she is first born, but that you love him just the same. Even if your child's questions are a bit uncomfortable for you, answer them the best you can?). Your older children will be more comfortable if you reduce the mystique of childbirth. Keep communication open during the adjustment period and remember to keep your answers to questions age appropriate.
Read With Your Child
Reading with your child is one of the best ways to connect, and it is a great way to introduce the changes that come with a new baby. Pick a few age appropriate books about bringing a baby home, and spend some time cuddling with your older child while you read these. Do this before and after the birth.
Let the Reaction Be What It Is
Your child may not react to the new baby as you have dreamed. Lots of big brothers and sisters react with coos and excitement the first time they meet their new baby brother or sister, but not all of them do. If your child is particularly young, the hospital setting, especially seeing mom in the bed in a hospital gown, is a bit scary. Try to have your older children touch the new baby gently when they first meet her, but do not force it. Always remember the power of touch and bonding and try to create a very positive first introduction. Accept your child's reaction and do not make a big deal of it even if he seems totally unconcerned about the baby.
Keep Life as Normal as Possible
Once everyone is safely home from the hospital, work as hard as you can to keep your older children on their normal routine. If you need help from Dad or grandparents to do this, ask for it, but the closer life is to "normal" after the arrival of a new sibling, the easier the adjustment period will be. Letting the older siblings help you care for your new one gives your children the feeling they are important and the new baby likes them too.
Clinginess Is Normal
No matter how old your older child is, expect her to need more love an attention when the new sibling comes. You are not going to have much time to give, but make sure you schedule some "just us" time with the older child, and make the most of that time. Create times when you can reconnect with your older children by letting family or friends help with the new baby.
--------
David Cummings is a devoted family member and regular author on parenting and family topics. He is devoted to helping parents create quality time with their families and assisting children-centric organizations as well. He manages Bustling Baby, LLC - a family-oriented store that makes parenting life easier and fun, including the Eddie Bauer Wood Swing Gate and Eddie Bauer Play Yard
This Article has been viewed 266 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.